The Discovery

I still hadn't found a new OB/GYN when the first sign happened. I was walking the dog. She was old, but keeping her walking a couple miles a day seemed to keep her creaking hips more supple. We were hiking along, and I felt an unscheduled gush. I had been on the pill since the littlest had weened so I had been regular, as I have always been, since my period had resumed. It wasn't a friendly little trickle. It was demanding. No ebb and flow. It was chaos.

I went to a clinic first, as I was leary to just look someone up in the yellow pages and had not found any of my researched choices had space for new patients. The nurse was neither encouraging nor was she sensitive. More like an auto mechanic looking under the hood of a machine than a health care giver peeking into my sacred instrument. Not quite indifferent but absolutely positive and resolute in her evalution of the situation. "We should just schedule you for a hysterectomy now". She had me go directly to the doctor on duty following the pap smear and he said -- "you'll just feel better when you get this out. You won't have to worry and you already have two children". I begged to ask why a hysterectomy was necessary, did I have cancer. "A very low percentage of fibroids develop into cancer, but removing the uterus will give you the peace of mind that you will never have to worry about uterine cancer after this. I've done so many of these surgeries and it's the right thing" his reply rote."Does this mean I will have to live without uterine orgasm" I asked, quite directly, because I didn't like this guy for so many reasons -- dismissive, disrespectful, and frankly, he seemed more interested in his own control and convenience where my diagnosis was concerned. "They're a myth" he replied without much sensitivity... "Screw you buddy" I thought to myself "the myth is ALIVE in my bedroom". I suspect the only people who believe this propaganda are people who have either never had one, or do not have the mastery to give one to their lovers. And do you know what they call med students who graduate from some tropically located "medical school" with a D average -- they call them DOCTOR. Harsh, but there it is. I, and my plum sized mass, never went back.